the last mile.

I awoke this morning with anxiety. I know that starting something new shouldn't directly lead to the death of something old. In this case, however, it does. It needs to. I start Ideal Protein tomorrow. Today, I have this incredible urge to eat everything in sight, knowing that starting tomorrow, I can't have any of the things that made me fat over all of these years.
I want to run to Dunkin for a large butter pecan coffee with cream. Then Starbucks for a slice of berry crumb cake. (I wonder if they would just sell me the whole cake?) Then Bagels and Cakes for a bagel with garlic and chive cream cheese. Maybe Wegmans for some carrot cake and cookies. I could go on.
These were my first thoughts this morning. Do you suppose these thoughts are normal? Pathetic?
Today I need to plan and do some research. I need to go grocery shopping...and by lots of vegetables and salad. Man. This is going to be rough.
I. Can. Do. This.

Holy anxious.

As I shove the last  piece of carrot cake in my mouth leftover from my birthday... I realize that it will be my last plate of sugar for months, if not forever. I've have created a new path for myself. Ideal Protein. Hopefully this will be the LAST DIET I am ever on. It will change the way my body functions. It will end my addiction to sugar. It may lower my high blood pressure, and cholesterol. I am choosing to recognize these as truths, and with my head high and my eye on the prize I will push through. I start Monday. It will suck. I will be miserable with headaches and withdrawal. I need to do this. I need to lose weight and break my horrible habits before they break me.
I am terribly nervous and a bit excited at the same time.
Thanks for listening, and coming along with me.

Lauren